By Staff Writer, Lusaka
Lusaka based artiste, Mampi Mukape says marriage is a beautiful thing and when one enters this institution it must not be because society pressured them to jump into it but it should be because they found the right partner and decided to get
married.
She laments that its very unfair to make single women feel bad about themselves just because of their marital status, “icibemba chitila ati ubushimbe tebulwele” so people should stop treating it as such.
Mampi says she has been getting a lot of people asking her why she is not
married yet.
“I felt like I needed to address the elephant
in the room. I am certain that I am not the only single woman facing such kind of pressure. 'When are you getting married?'
Is becoming a popular question not only to me but many other women in our society. I would have chosen to ignore this and focused on my interests but I decided to take this opportunity to speak for me and many other women who are subjected to such pressure,” she says.
She notes that 'when are you getting married' pressure has pushed many women into marriages of convenience for the sake of fitting in.
“This leads so many women into unhappy marriages, high levels of divorce and
in worst cases gender based violence,” says Mampi.
Mampi says she is a strong independent hard working woman who believes that marriage is not something one should just wake up and jump into.
“When I find someone I am compatible
with; someone whom I share the same values with and loves me for me not because of what he saw on stage or who he
thinks I am then I will gladly do it. I will not just date or marry anybody that comes my way with a proposal to impress
society.
“One thing I'd love the public to understand is that life in the limelight is not for the weak at heart, you ought to be smart enough to know that some men will fall in love with your image and not you as a person. This is one of the many
reasons why I can never rush into such commitments without wisely scanning potential spouses just cause he can
fit a ring on it, no I'm not doing it, I will not marry to please society. Otherwise I would be misleading so many people
that look upto me that its okay to succumb to pressure,” she explains.
She observes that another question that make women succumb to pressure is, 'when are you having a child ?'
“Honestly, just stop it! We are more than that, yes children are beautiful and mothering should not be limited to entering that labour ward because being a mother is having a heart to raise a
child which am already doing. I am mothering my nephew whom I love whole heartedly which makes me a mother. I will not have a biological child whose father is not my husband, no! I won't do it,” Mampi explains.
Mampi says she gives credit to single mothers who hustle for their children.
“As for many single moms, I have great respect for you as mothers. Hustling it out for those beautiful kids. And not having a child as a single woman is just a personal choice. Nobody will change my mind, I'm not here to please everybody and these are some of my principles. I believe that not many moms planned to be single moms its
just circumstances that put them in such positions and some of them it could have been because of these same pressures of
expecting women to have children at a certain age,” she explains.
She further says those that are still bothered about her marital
status she will get married when everything fall in place.
“I will get married and have children when God provides me with a suitable partner and if I am not provided with one, I will stay happy knowing that my creators purpose for me is not just about marriage and kids because those are just blessings
instead. For those that know me well , it is clear that I'm not moved by the worlds perception of me if I did, I would have
drowned in it lost my way but no. I know who I am. And for all you single women out there facing these challenges do
not allow society to define you, only your creator has the final say in your life..being single is not a crime so stay that
way until God brings the right man focus on your goals. Find yourself and know that marriage wont complete you..it only
compliments,” says Mampi.
Mampi adds that women should understand that marriage is from God.
“Thus women should not go looking for it; children are a blessing when you decide to bring them into the world but be sure to take good care of them so they dont
end up as street kids, remember those people pressuring you will not raise those children for you; before you even start thinking of becoming someones wife, ask yourself if you are stable minded? What have you done for yourself? Have you found happiness within yourself? Are
ready to be submissive? because you need to. Do you know that even after courting for years theres still things and flaws
in your partner that you will discover along the way? Can you handle them? Do not waste your youthful days playing around but wise up and make sure you dont reject your suitable partner,” she advises.
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