By Mariam Yassin
Forgive? How can I do it? “Who dies because of a yes or
a no”, the famous phrase by Primo Levi continuously
repeats itself in my mind. I feel guilty because I
survived! I look around and notice that I am
surrounded by death and sufferance. “Please give me
water!”, someone asks me. I gather every last bit of
strength I have left and begin to help with whatever I
can. As I proceed to assist those around me, I begin to
scan my surroundings a second time and realize the
number of dead bodies scattered across the floor as
well as the amount of blood flowing. I feel dizzy now, I
can’t breathe and I need to sit. “This cannot be true”, I
tell myself. Alas! It is true my worst nightmare has now
become my reality.
The hours spent in a parking lot on the rooftop of the
Westgate Shopping Centre were indeed the most
dramatic hours of my life. I may write more on this in
future posts about how I felt, lived and survived in
those moments. However for now I can say that I thank
Allah for the bad and for the good.
Now, I do want to talk about how I finally chose the
path of forgiveness, a long path filled with ups and
downs that eventually leads to inner peace. I truly
believe this. Perhaps I cannot say that I have reached
that inner peace, but I can certainly say that I am at
peace. I forgive for vengeance is not mine! Hatred and
resentment are too heavy to be carried on my
shoulders because I have a greater mission, which is to
live my life. Live and enjoy life in its sweetness and in
its challenges. I do not wish to pass on hatred and
feelings of revenge to future generations; instead I
want to teach my children about forgiveness, respect
for life and human dignity.
I decided to share my pain, because I believe that we
tend to not talk about our grievances. “It was destiny,
be strong and forget about it”, we say. I fully accept
what happened, I am strong, and I have decided to
move on without forgetting what took place for I do
not want to live in denial! I believe that sharing and
talking about my pain and grief, and above all what
this experience has taught me, are moral obligations
and signs of strength. I am not lamenting, but I want to
share and actively participate in the reconciliation
within my beloved country, Somalia.
I believe that
sharing our own pain and grievances, which all
Somalis have, can be a good step that can lead to
reconciliation in Somalia.
This conflict has touched many of us Somali sisters and
brothers, we lost our beloved ones and got hurt both
physically and emotionally making our healing
processes much more difficult.
Time has come to share, talk and forgive one another.
Let us break the chain of vendetta and resentment,
which kept many of us prisoners for a long time.
The time has come to walk together towards the path
that leads to the highest and most profound freedom,
the one the soul!
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