One great gift for a Nigerian
feminist is a Nigerian man
who get it. This is not as
common as one would
expect. But if you are a
Nigerian (female) and and
you have that one male friend who you don’t really need to
explain a thing to; by all means put that friend to work, let
that friend be your mouthpiece or quarterback.
In my country, to say you are a feminist is to implore a
negative stigma. You will be referred to as a lesbian which
is not bad except that it courts the 14 years imprisonment
penalty. To be feminist means you are overwhelmed with
inferiority complex or seeking unnecessary attention or
worse unhappy because you cannot find a husband. To say
you are a feminist, a happy one for that matter, that is
totally un-African. It is as if Africa (in my case Nigeria) is
against your happiness if you choose to express it through
the idea of gender justice and gender equality. It means
you have allowed yourself to be “corrupted” by the Western
world and that you have forgotten your roots. So instead of
saying you are a feminist, you might be allowed to say you
are a womanist or a women's rights activist. The reason for
this is because feminism is allegedly alien to Africa, which I
think isn’t entirely true.
I found out early in life that I was a feminist. Which literally
terrified me, because I wanted to girly like my sister (note
that being girly doesn't mean you are not a feminist, that
was something I only found out when I was a teenager). So
instead of being me, in my ignorance I pretended to be
something I wasn't to "fit in". I desperately wanted to get
that nod of maternal approval.
Years later, I realised I couldn't pretend anymore and I was
so sick and tired of trying to fit into the box of people's
expectations. I suppose I gotta love myself, even with my
quirks and imperfections.
In Nigeria people don’t want to hear you use the word
‘feminism’ especially when you are female. Because most
people believe when you are a feminist you won’t be
submissive to your husband and faithful to traditional
roles. In much of the Nigerian male population there is the
belief that men earned their places at jobs and in schools
while women got them because they are women. As if men
haven’t been getting their jobs for being men. If you are a
Nigerian, please do not say this in public, let your male
friends say it; else, you will be accused of playing the sexist
card.
An average Nigerian girl, which is very much the everyday
Nigerian girl, is raised to see marriage as her top most
priority. Going to school is like an added advantage,
because they say no man wants to marry a liability(a
woman who isn’t educated).
The pressure of being female in a society like mine is
overwhelming. Sometimes it feels like I'm being swallowed
up in sand dunes.
I was having a conversation about studying and how to
improve grades with my professor and he told me ‘You are
a female, why are you so concerned about improving your
grades? If you end up with a second class lower division, it
wouldn’t matter because by the time you graduate a man is
going to take care of you’. What my professor meant by ‘a
man taking care of me’ was that I will get married and be a
housewife, with all my needs catered for. So this begs the
question. Do my innate capabilities matter? If things will be
done on my behalf anyway, then what is the point of having
dreams and being ambitious?
I think it is our right to be treated equally regardless of
gender. Please I would love to hear your thoughts on this,
in the comment section below. Source: Voice of Youth
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