On making sense of experience

By Winston Muleba II 

Our wellbeing is shaped not only by our circumstances but by the meaning we make of what happens to us. Two children can have very similar experiences, failing a test, for example; but each may tell themselves a very different story about what happened and why. Our capacity to integrate experience into our belief system and value base and to process events in a meaningful and positive way – our capacity to reflect – powerfully influences our sense of wellbeing.

One child may see the failed test as a result of not having prepared properly and determine to read up in advance next time, while another may see confirmation of her inner belief that she is 'rubbish' at schoolwork and not someone who can learn. Challenging negative self- talk and helping children develop positive but realistic explanations of what happens to them can transform their engagement with learning. This is about teachable, learnable skills and about adults who can consistently model reflective capacity for children, rather than simply reacting to behaviour and perceived attitudes.