By Mutinta Musokotwane
AN OLD, old friend of mine came to see me at the office and as our discussion progressed beyond catching up she asked me “but ine why sinikwatiliwa Mutinta?” I contemplated telling her the usual “just pray mama, blah blah blah” but my conscience wouldn’t allow me. She asked for my opinion and I needed to be a friend enough to give it to her. Anyone who knows me will tell you I am the “ to go to girl” for brutal honesty. So I needed to tell her that she needed to couple the praying bit with deeds – i.e change the way she dresses.
I asked my friend to stand up so I could take a proper look at her. She was wearing Jeggings, and a short top that was not only revealing cleavage but also her middle was left bulging. I scrutinized her bleached skin which had now become patchy – (some parts are coca cola and some are fanta). She also donned the trendy clunky heels that I often see on Nicki Minaj, Mampi and Lady Gaga. Her “Brazilian” locks were all the way to her bottom. More times than not, this is her normal look. Now let me ask the boys; is this the sort of girl you would take home to mama or just to bed? I don’t think any man in his right mind would take someone who looks like that to mama and I told my friend as such. I told her that her chosen type of dress will invariably help her score bedmates but will exclude her from the “marriage material” list. Even if marriage is not a goal for you, being respectable should be. My take is that generally you have to choose what you want people to perceive you as. Whether in the office, in your marriage, with friends etc. Your image is something that you must craft carefully. You have to have goals and strategies to enhance your image and follow these through. Whether you like it or not; whether you believe it or not, it all begins with the way you look. So here’s this old friend who wanted to find a husband but dressed like a hooker.
If you have never thought of your image before, this is a good time to think about it. You have to begin by asking yourself how you want people to see you and then align this image with your overall goals. For example, if you have a goal to find a husband, you have to dress a certain way, speak a certain way and behave a certain way. If it’s your intention to climb up high on the corporate ladder, you got to dress the part of your boss or her boss. Look like a winner – dress the part you want to be. You also have to read widely in your field, polish up your emotional intelligence and much more. Your image has a significant impact on perception of your skills whether in the workplace, as someone’s future partner or even as a leader.
Crafting your image should be intentional and calculated. A good image will not happen by accident. You will need to invest time and money – you will have to have a plan and clear idea of what you want to be. Pay attention to the details – the devil is after all in the detail. Get it right the first time. Visual – What you wear matters Are your clothes appropriate for your age; your body type; and the event or audience? .There’s a dress for everybody type and for every age – if you’re in your 40s, don’t dress like a 20 year old etc. If you have had children like I have, don’t attempt to spill your not so slender figure into a slinky dress. It has become downright embarrassing to see grown women who are in some cases grandmothers wearing short, mid thigh dresses. I mean really! What exactly are you trying to portray? Some women are dressing as if they are going to perform at some music awards ceremony.
If you are looking to be taken seriously at all you really have to be careful how you dress. Especially in the workplace, regardless of the industry you work in, if you present yourself in a neat stylish and professional manner, you will be perceived to be prepared, intelligent and articulate. You will command respect and exude authority and trust. On the other hand if you wear clothes that outline all your internal assets then really you are just calling for trouble.
I recently attended a high profile signing ceremony in which the spokesperson for a high profile company was dressed in a really tight dress. I had a word with her (don’t worry she’s a good friend), telling her how inappropriate her dress was. Her answer to me was “but that man said I look really good”. She had missed the point. Of course she looked good – infact she looked stunning, she is a gorgeous girl. But she didn’t understand that professionalism doesn’t allow for that kind of g-string showing type of dress. The way you dress is a part of your professionalism. That kind of dressing says “I don’t have brains so I will use bottom power”. Bad apparel can lead to you losing out on a promotion, clients’ choosing another firm and deals not closing.
Ladies, just because the outfit is nice doesn’t mean it’s meant for the office. Some of the outfits you are wearing are meant for a birthday/kitchen party. Really they are. Stay away from sleeveless tops, they are not professional. Don’t wear the see through tops even if you wear a camisole or vest underneath. Such clothes are not meant for the office. They just aren’t. Also avoid the loud accessories and the bright gaudy colors. Unless of course you are out on the town.
Some people seem to think “casual Friday” means “pig sty” Friday. It doesn’t. It simply means you can tone down on the ties and the formal suits. However you still need to ensure that you are smart and presentable enough to represent the organization your work for. Lose the grubby, stone wash faded jeans for some nice, clean blue or black jeans. Better yet, invest in some Chinos. Please don’t wear those nasty basketball sneakers to work just because it’s Friday. Instead go for a nice pair of loafers or a neat pair of sneakers that you didn’t have to pick out of the garbage can. Hair and Makeup is another area where we don’t seem to get it right. Ladies, please don’t colour your faces like you are the treasure in a treasure hunt. Take care that your features are enhanced instead of distorted by the blues, greens and pinks. I am yet to figure out and understand why black girls are wearing bright pink blusher meant for a pale, blond woman. Blusher is meant to bring out your natural glow. It’s not meant to be two bright pink spots on your cheeks that do not match your skin tone whatsoever. Ensure your foundation and powder is the correct shade.
I write about the “Brazilian hair” with great reserve. I know that it wouldn’t be big business if it wasn’t so popular. But you really have to ask yourself why you are putting it on your head and what it symbolizes to you. Does it make you feel like you have arrived because it is so expensive? I ask you though – why does it have to be so long? Why girls, why?
In part two I will look at Personal Hygiene (bad breath and body odour); Social Media, Self Esteem and General Etiquett.
You can continue wearing your bright pink blusher and your long “up to the tush” Brazilian hair after all – “I’m just saying”. God bless you all. You can email her on mutintamusokotwane@outlook.com or look me up on face book as Mutinta Musokotwane-Chikopela. Mutinta Musokotwane-Chikopela is a wife and mother who loves more than anything else to build families and generally try to leave the world a better place than she found it. SOURCE:MWEBANTU MEDIA
I asked my friend to stand up so I could take a proper look at her. She was wearing Jeggings, and a short top that was not only revealing cleavage but also her middle was left bulging. I scrutinized her bleached skin which had now become patchy – (some parts are coca cola and some are fanta). She also donned the trendy clunky heels that I often see on Nicki Minaj, Mampi and Lady Gaga. Her “Brazilian” locks were all the way to her bottom. More times than not, this is her normal look. Now let me ask the boys; is this the sort of girl you would take home to mama or just to bed? I don’t think any man in his right mind would take someone who looks like that to mama and I told my friend as such. I told her that her chosen type of dress will invariably help her score bedmates but will exclude her from the “marriage material” list. Even if marriage is not a goal for you, being respectable should be. My take is that generally you have to choose what you want people to perceive you as. Whether in the office, in your marriage, with friends etc. Your image is something that you must craft carefully. You have to have goals and strategies to enhance your image and follow these through. Whether you like it or not; whether you believe it or not, it all begins with the way you look. So here’s this old friend who wanted to find a husband but dressed like a hooker.
If you have never thought of your image before, this is a good time to think about it. You have to begin by asking yourself how you want people to see you and then align this image with your overall goals. For example, if you have a goal to find a husband, you have to dress a certain way, speak a certain way and behave a certain way. If it’s your intention to climb up high on the corporate ladder, you got to dress the part of your boss or her boss. Look like a winner – dress the part you want to be. You also have to read widely in your field, polish up your emotional intelligence and much more. Your image has a significant impact on perception of your skills whether in the workplace, as someone’s future partner or even as a leader.
Crafting your image should be intentional and calculated. A good image will not happen by accident. You will need to invest time and money – you will have to have a plan and clear idea of what you want to be. Pay attention to the details – the devil is after all in the detail. Get it right the first time. Visual – What you wear matters Are your clothes appropriate for your age; your body type; and the event or audience? .There’s a dress for everybody type and for every age – if you’re in your 40s, don’t dress like a 20 year old etc. If you have had children like I have, don’t attempt to spill your not so slender figure into a slinky dress. It has become downright embarrassing to see grown women who are in some cases grandmothers wearing short, mid thigh dresses. I mean really! What exactly are you trying to portray? Some women are dressing as if they are going to perform at some music awards ceremony.
If you are looking to be taken seriously at all you really have to be careful how you dress. Especially in the workplace, regardless of the industry you work in, if you present yourself in a neat stylish and professional manner, you will be perceived to be prepared, intelligent and articulate. You will command respect and exude authority and trust. On the other hand if you wear clothes that outline all your internal assets then really you are just calling for trouble.
I recently attended a high profile signing ceremony in which the spokesperson for a high profile company was dressed in a really tight dress. I had a word with her (don’t worry she’s a good friend), telling her how inappropriate her dress was. Her answer to me was “but that man said I look really good”. She had missed the point. Of course she looked good – infact she looked stunning, she is a gorgeous girl. But she didn’t understand that professionalism doesn’t allow for that kind of g-string showing type of dress. The way you dress is a part of your professionalism. That kind of dressing says “I don’t have brains so I will use bottom power”. Bad apparel can lead to you losing out on a promotion, clients’ choosing another firm and deals not closing.
Ladies, just because the outfit is nice doesn’t mean it’s meant for the office. Some of the outfits you are wearing are meant for a birthday/kitchen party. Really they are. Stay away from sleeveless tops, they are not professional. Don’t wear the see through tops even if you wear a camisole or vest underneath. Such clothes are not meant for the office. They just aren’t. Also avoid the loud accessories and the bright gaudy colors. Unless of course you are out on the town.
Some people seem to think “casual Friday” means “pig sty” Friday. It doesn’t. It simply means you can tone down on the ties and the formal suits. However you still need to ensure that you are smart and presentable enough to represent the organization your work for. Lose the grubby, stone wash faded jeans for some nice, clean blue or black jeans. Better yet, invest in some Chinos. Please don’t wear those nasty basketball sneakers to work just because it’s Friday. Instead go for a nice pair of loafers or a neat pair of sneakers that you didn’t have to pick out of the garbage can. Hair and Makeup is another area where we don’t seem to get it right. Ladies, please don’t colour your faces like you are the treasure in a treasure hunt. Take care that your features are enhanced instead of distorted by the blues, greens and pinks. I am yet to figure out and understand why black girls are wearing bright pink blusher meant for a pale, blond woman. Blusher is meant to bring out your natural glow. It’s not meant to be two bright pink spots on your cheeks that do not match your skin tone whatsoever. Ensure your foundation and powder is the correct shade.
I write about the “Brazilian hair” with great reserve. I know that it wouldn’t be big business if it wasn’t so popular. But you really have to ask yourself why you are putting it on your head and what it symbolizes to you. Does it make you feel like you have arrived because it is so expensive? I ask you though – why does it have to be so long? Why girls, why?
In part two I will look at Personal Hygiene (bad breath and body odour); Social Media, Self Esteem and General Etiquett.
You can continue wearing your bright pink blusher and your long “up to the tush” Brazilian hair after all – “I’m just saying”. God bless you all. You can email her on mutintamusokotwane@outlook.com or look me up on face book as Mutinta Musokotwane-Chikopela. Mutinta Musokotwane-Chikopela is a wife and mother who loves more than anything else to build families and generally try to leave the world a better place than she found it. SOURCE:MWEBANTU MEDIA
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